Keeping Resolutions

We make our resolutions with every good intention. Some of us even spend serious money joining a gym. And yet – just a few weeks on – our promises seem to be sunk without trace. How do I know? Because we all make ourselves many more promises than we actually keep. This is not some personal failing which is unique to you and me. It’s not even about insufficient willpower, determination and grit. It’s actually a condition of the human mind and that’s good news, because we can beat it and have some fun while we do!

The human animal is always in two minds, let’s call them the uppermind and the undermind. The uppermind deals with conscious thought. Here our rational intelligence figures out what to do, often with sumptuous logic which, if followed, would make our lives as good as they could possibly be. Then we do something totally different, guided by the undermind.

The undermind acts to protect us. It registers heat and cold, hunger and thirst, love and hurt, discomfort and ease. It’s older, it’s instinctual and it’s the dominant partner of the pair. Addressing the “right here, right now” fears and feelings of the undermind takes precedence. Overriding it requires a constant, sustained and focused effort that is beyond most of us other than over a relatively short time-span. So, how do we win? Trickery!

Get the undermind on your side. Create an immediate impetus towards your goal that the undermind can focus on. Here are a few suggestions:

1) Trigger-points and Talismen. Small habits and artefacts that keep your resolutions in constant focus: wear trainers in the car to remind you to walk more; put an acorn in your purse to remind you to save.

2) Take Five. If the task feels too daunting or too dreary just do it for five minutes, no more. You don’t have to finish, just start. Five minutes is easy (bet you do more)!

3) Wisdom before Weakness. Before you have a cigarette, run up six flights of stairs. Before going to the pub, spend an hour with you mother. Before that angry phone call, write a cheque to charity.

With these strategies almost everyone will reach their goals, with the occasional slip. But some give up just as success gets close. This may happen if the original goal was not well founded, was not what they really sought, or was sought to please someone else. Others fear success more than failure. Success is ‘undeserved’, or will raise the bar of achievement next time, or will lead to demands in the future greater than they can meet. Perhaps this success will create other, unwelcome changes, such as lose of friends or close colleagues.

Our life is made from our choices. Not all of them are easy. Such barriers can be overcome, but that’s another story.

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Many people set out to look for the forest and get lost in the trees. In your dreams coaching gives you the space, time and tools to break out of this self-perpetuating cycle, get a clear picture of what you want and helps you design a suitable route map to your chosen destination.

Your first success has been recognising the need for assistance.

Your second is having the good sense to call for it.

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"'We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." ~ Aristotle