After the Move

Buying or selling a home ranks as the biggest financial commitment of our lives and the whole tortuous routine is all the more scary because it is infrequent and unfamiliar. If our home has sold quickly, did we set the price too low? As buyers, did we pay too much? And as both buyers and sellers we found the process disruptive, unsettling, time-consuming and expensive. Your recent move has undoubtedly put you through one of life's more challenging transitions.

Purchasers claim that among the top causes of moving-related stress is finding their new home in a less than desirable condition. I view this as inevitable. Our primary urge is to claim the territory as ours and to make our own mark. The easiest way to do this is to criticise and make some simple, but superficial changes. I see exactly the same process taking place when an employee leaves, or when people shift offices.

The general sense of confusion and disorder that make moving both physically and emotionally stressful will persist beyond the moving day itself. Packing, dusting and moving, followed by unpacking, cleaning and sorting will sap our energy. The associated chaos and the resultant short tempers will drain our emotions. There is also the element of grief over the places, things, and people we will miss. If our move has been caused by a death, divorce, or job loss, the sense of sadness can be acute.

When we are coping with the unfamiliar, resorting to something familiar provides solace and a sense of routine. Even though you feel pressed for time, don't eliminate regular activities like swimming or jogging from your schedule. Stay involved in your favourite hobbies and sports. It will help add a sense of order amid the turmoil, as well as provide you with some needed relaxation.

With the basics are under control, take a short break and enjoy your new home. Invite a few friends over for take-out food — and don't worry about the mess. You've just moved, so nobody will expect the place to look like a palace. Take full advantage and complete the job over the next few weeks.

A house is just a house, but its mood, meaning and character comes from us. So what do we want from our new house? What will it give us? For some it will give security, for others it will be space in which the family can grow or in which we can do something we love. It might give us an environment in which to express ourselves or a whole raft of other things that are important to each of us.

Finding your own space in a new community will take time. Identifying what is available, when and where will take initiative. However, making new friends and acquaintances does mean venturing out because, unless you make the effort, the world can be an anonymous place. Even so, since we cannot dictate how quickly others will reciprocate, it will rarely be immediate and spontaneous.
 

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Many people set out to look for the forest and get lost in the trees. In your dreams coaching gives you the space, time and tools to break out of this self-perpetuating cycle, get a clear picture of what you want and helps you design a suitable route map to your chosen destination.

Your first success has been recognising the need for assistance.

Your second is having the good sense to call for it.

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"We've been all the way to the moon and back but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbour." ~ George Carlin